Not Good...

I did not run last night. My husband called right before I left work and I was on the fence at that point. So he said rather than starting dinner he was going to take a nap. I was exhausted myself so I just went home. I know that if I would have ran, I would have probably felt better. Instead, I went home and took a nap with him, which I have not done in a long time.

This morning my alarm went off and I drifted back to sleep, but only for a few minutes. I was too tired to put in an effort to make breakfast so, of course, I went to McDonald's. My breakfasts for the past 2 mornings have been a sausage biscuit and about 12ozs of milk. That's right, add it up! Almost 800 calories just for breakfast. Both mornings I have also had about 5-8 cookies, a huge lunch and just as big of a breakfast. Tomorrow will be 1 week since I have done any running or cardio of any kind and 2 or 3 weeks since I have been full throttle with it.

I knew this was going to happen. I am in no shape for a pajama party on New Year's Eve, no shape for running at all really. I am flabby and uncomfortable, yet again, right before an event that I wanted to look nice for. I am loosing my motivation because the running has been so bad. I can't get my eating under control. This is the hardest time I have had with food in my entire life.

I am feeling like pure crap today for the first time that I can remember in about 10 years. I am at work and I do have to go to my second job today, Saturday and Sunday. If I can make it until then, I am off from both places for the rest of the week.

On the other hand, I am very happy with my life at this moment in time. That just goes to show you that my theory is true and I am having a hard time turning it around. I am the opposite of an emotional eater. When I am sad, I eat right, I exercise, I am the epitome of focused. But, if I am happy with my life then I don't care.

I hope - I HOPE that I can turn this around next week. Maybe all the talk about New Year's Resolutions and weight loss challenges that always comes up around this week of the year will motivate me to get moving again. I am sure if I step on the scale I would get some of that motivation! I can't imagine how much I have gained back!