My Turn Day

http://www.worldsuperheroregistry.com/

My mom always told me that there were angels walking around among us, but she never said anything about superheroes. According to the website, a superhero is defined as someone who wears a costume to do heroic deeds and has personal motivation, meaning they can not be a paid representative or work on behalf of any organization. I do not qualify because I never wear my costume out of the bedroom. (HA HA! OK - bad joke.)

This is a network of people that actually fight for justice and try to make the world a better place. In order to be added to the registry, you have to be a confirmed superhero either through media coverage or some sort of verification, which means that pretty much, your good deeds have to have made the news or some other notable source in order for you to make the cut. You also have to have performed your crime fighting or good deed while in costume. Personally, I have never, not once, seen a news story where a masked crusader or a dude in costume was the person that saved the day so I just have to take their word that these are real Superheroes.

This website is fun(ny) to look at and it is not really serious (I don't think!) but I think they are on to something. If you think about it maybe we should all be superheroes and try to make our world a better place.Tuesday, February 10th is My Turn Day. The premise behind it is to do a good deed or help a charity, preferably something that you have never done before, but anything will do. Or maybe it is not that big of a deal - maybe you are going to start recycling for the first time or knit socks for all your sister's kids or something.

On that day announce what you are going to do and then DO IT. I know a lot of us don't have a lot of time or resources, but most of us are in a position to do something. I know that with the economy the way it is everyone is trying to save and may not have much to spare, but I think that is even more of a reason to try to help out. Now, more than ever we can sympathize with needing some help or just needing something to feel good about for a change.

Leave me a comment and let me know if you going to try to participate and what ideas you might have. I am taking a page from Crystal Chick and I am throwing down the gauntlet - for every comment I receive about your intentions for My Turn Day, I will donate a can of food to the Food Bank (yes, they collect food all year round, not just Thanksgiving and Christmas!). So tell your friends and family and every other online buddy and get them to leave me a comment sometime between now and February 10th.

P.S. You are not required to perform your charity in costume, but if anybody makes the news or will send me a picture of you performing your good deed in a costume I will send you prize!

Upward and Onward

For the second half of the month at the dealership, I have not had a lot of sales. I have been kind of frustrated with it and was going to go in to work a couple of extra nights last week, but the wreck kind of got in the way of my regular life last week. I had to work Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Friday I just wanted to go home from my day job and go to sleep. I was not in the mood to go to work. I went in and got nothing. Ughh! I was so mad. Saturday we were so busy we could not keep up with traffic. Saturday, I got nothing. My husband, however, sold two cars on Saturday. I was so mad!!! I went home Saturday night, had a beer and ate ice cream for dinner. I was a big baby about the situation, really.

Normally, we are not too busy on Sunday so I went in with the attitude that I was going to go in and whatever happens, will happen. My husband and I even went to lunch about an hour after we got there because we just didn't want to be there. Shortly after we got back from lunch I sold a car. Whoo hoo! I took another couple of customers after that and sold another car. Whoo hoo x two!

I am back on the upward swing with my sales, it seems. On the other hand, still no workouts to really speak of. We tried out a new place to eat and it was so delicious we ate there twice over the weekend. We also ate out a couple of times in addition to this new place. As I mentioned earlier, I had beer and ice cream for one meal. Plainly, I am doing great with looking descent in Vegas in a few weeks. HA HA HA HA!

I know this has nothing to do with anything else I have written here, but let me just say that I love waking up next to my husband in the mornings. During the week when I have to get up early, I miss not being there to wake up with him. OK - enough mushy stuff. Have a good day!

So Many Thoughts...Not Near Enough Chocolate

I am living off of Ibuprofen and chocolate these days. Bad food, couch surfing and stress have been the only things on my menu this week. This was supposed to be my week to re-boot and start over. Unfortunately, instead of restarting my new lifestyle, I have restarted my original lifestyle that I followed for the first 25 years or so of my life.

I have had some bad stuff happen over the course of this week and I am stressing completely. I wonder if I were following my healthy lifestyle would I be handling these situations and conversations better. I acknowledge that running/exercising and eating healthy keeps me in better mental health as well as well as physical health. With the way things are right now I am back to wondering if my thoughts and viewpoints are those of a 'normal' person. Am I seeing things the way anybody else would? I am back to the point of questioning every move I make or every decision in front of me.

The good news is that I have not slipped back into a depression. Whoo hoo! I hope that is just a memory in my life now and not something I will ever go back to. I have also not had a drop of alcohol over all of this. I am not naive though, today is Friday and before the weekend is out I will probably have a beer or something. It will not be in direct response to me having a bad day or being depressed or upset. I find that to be a good step in the right direction.

Ambition or Greed?

I want to talk about aspirations and ambition. All my life I have had this need to make a lot of money and/or to be successful. If you just look at that statement it looks like I am a shallow person. If I were to have said, I am an ambitious person with aspirations to become the top producer in my field, that has a positive connotation that most people would not think twice about.

I have two jobs, not because I need money to pay my bills but because I want more money to do what I want to do. More than money, I want to be successful at anything I do. I want to be the best and I want the recognition for being the best. Furthermore, I admit that I have less respect for people that don't have dreams of being something more. I

When I read this back it sounds so snobby and condescending. I don't intend to come off that way, but I can't think of a better way to say it. This is not an issue of me not liking people who make less money. I like or dislike people based on their personality and how they treat people and things like that. I don't think I am better than someone who makes less money. I just think that people should always be trying to do a little better.

I am not only talking about finances or position, although it is hard to not acknowledge that finances and position get you a little more in our society than most other things. But, maybe it is being a better cook or having the best hair style. Doesn't it say something about a person if they have the gumption to try to be the best at something? That being said, if you want the best hairstyle you might have to put more money into it, therefore, you have to work harder or budget more to reach that goal. I do not condone taking the money that was supposed to be used for the baby's formula either. The goal is to work toward having enough money to pay for both. Or, to be creative and find another way to have your hair done. I am getting off track here talking about hair!

I know someone who says she wants a bigger house or a better car. But, when it comes time to work she is the first person to take a day off or to leave early. She doesn't want to do anything more than what she has been doing for the past few years. It is an inconvenience to work late and she won't take on any extracurricular activities - probably because it would require too much effort on her part. In addition to not really being productive herself, she has a boyfriend who does not work. For years he has not worked and she puts up with it and supports him. So, not only is she not productive, but one could argue that she is counter-productive by supporting another able-bodied person.

I guess this rant is mostly an eye opener for me because I have been slacking. I need to realize that I want more, therefore I have to work to get more. Some people do not have to work as hard because life has dealt them a different hand. But with the path I have chosen I have to work hard to get what I want. I can't change anything or anybody but me. In my mind, I think the world would be a different place if everybody had some severe ambition, which I suppose is why I hold people to higher standards. I know people whose ambition has diminished since I have known them. I do not deny that I have less respect and generally want less to do with those few people as a result. I don't like people to be content with barely getting by.

I would like to reiterate the fact that I don't like people less or think I am better than anybody who has less or is going through a rough time. I have a problem with people who lay down and take what they were handed as if it is their only option. As long as you are scratching and clawing to get better, you and I are just fine.

This is probably the worst thing I have ever written. Not only the subject matter, but the scatter brained thoughts that don't necessarily go together. Let me know if your opinion of me changes after reading this.

Something to look forward to

I never thought I would be this person - but I guess over the past year I realized that I am a long way from the person I used to be. Therefore, I guess I am not surprised. I have become someone who almost always obsesses over weight. I really look at my body and definition a lot more than I look at the scale so maybe I don't obsess over weight, but over looks (which is worse, really). Nonetheless, I am still one of those annoying people who is always counting calories and whining about how I didn't workout or how I didn't have the willpower not to eat this or that.

I hate that I am that person. The funny thing is that the success and results that I had is what drives me to be the annoying person! Now I know that if I work at it I can have the body I want. (I had a very nice body for a couple of weeks. Yea, short lived.) Therefore, I am on a never ending cycle to get it back. I know I can do it, but I have no willpower therefore I am defeated. I think about it all the time. Everyday. Every hour. When is my next meal? Why did I eat what I ate last? Did I run? Am I going to run? Why didn't run longer? Question after question! Aye!

Over the summer it was easy to work out and run because I like the warm weather, the days are longer and there were races to sign up for about every month. I had something to look forward to. Well, now I have something else to look forward to so maybe I can get back on track.

C wants to either go to Las Vegas or Mardi Gras in February. There are 2 weeks left in January so I am going to go full steam ahead. He gets in the way of me eating but he does not get in the way of me working out. That's all me. I use him as an excuse sometimes, but I know better.

It never fails. When a holiday or party or vacation comes up I always come up short with my looks. Not this time. I will have my (almost) ripped ab(s) and toned arms back. This is especially important if we go to Vegas. It is warm out there and I might end up in a bathing suit. I am not self conscious because I will never see any of those people again, but it makes me feel good to look good so I want to try really hard!

I know you will be glad when I do find something to motivate me! I will not whine near as much then!

Some Things That I Like

Yoga Running Watching College Basketball Working Sleeping My Dogs My House Pepperoni Pizza Chocolate Doublemint Gum Reading My Car Summer Time THE Beach Paintball Taking Pictures Sweaters Friends Thanksgiving Family The Color Blue Sunny Days Asparagus Shoes



These are just a few things that I thought of. I think I am going to add a lot more to this and frame it and hang it up in my living room or something. I have seen similar things in the store, but it is kind of therapeutic to do it yourself. This is ME specific and I like that. I don't mean that in a self centered way. I mean that it is not mass produced with a bunch of words put together; instead it actually reflects me.

What am I Getting Myself Into?

I have a friend who is having a hard time. The guy she was dating did not turn out to be "The One." In my opinion (and hers too, I think), it is for the best that this one didn't work out. When he showed his true colors they were not pretty like rainbows.

I think it is wearing on her that she is getting to closer to 30 and she is not in a long term relationship. Even though I have not been in that situation, I can understand her frustration. This is honestly a great girl; she is one of the hottest people I know, and she is pretty self-sufficient. She doesn't need someone to take care of her or anything. I don't have a male perspective on it but I can't pinpoint anything about her that might not be desirable in a relationship. It seems to be playing on her self esteem that she has dated a handful of guys that turn out to be real jerks.

On top of the relationship stuff she texted me and said she is having trouble keeping track of her money. She makes good money, no doubt, but some people are better at budgeting than others.

I am telling this story, not to put my friend on front street, but because I can hear her desperation and I know that she is really down. She told me that she has never felt this way before.

This sounds all too familiar to me. Not too long ago I felt that everything was going wrong and that I could not do anything about it. More so than that, I felt like nobody cared. I felt abandoned by my friends and even my husband and family. I do not want her to feel that way. Everyone is entitled to have times where they feel down in the dumps, but the feeling in the pit of your stomach when you feel like you are all alone is horrible.

I can remember on several days thinking that if someone would have just called to say hi or sent me a text then maybe I could get out of the mindset I was in at the time. I wanted someone to pity me, I guess is what you might call it. Just for 5 minutes. I wanted someone to acknowledge that I was going through a bad time and tell me that it was OK.

I had people try to cheer me up, but they never asked why I was sad in the first place. I think I fell so hard because I didn't think anyone cared. I also think that's why my drinking got so bad.

I want her to know that I am there for her. I know from experience from trying to help a different friend through a divorce that I, evidently, don't give good advice so I want to be there just to listen when she needs it. I want her to know that I can empathize with her for feeling this way but I also acknowledge that it is not easy to go through the things she is going through. That there are no small problems. I think it would also be good for me to encourage her and point out that I know she is stronger than she thinks and this is going to be no big deal for her to get over.

Hopefully, I can help her through her bad time without loosing her as a friend like I did the last time. I hope that I have learned my lesson. I don't know if it is a good idea to go down this road again, but I am going to talk to her and let her know I am here if she needs me.

KEEP/TOSS/DONATE

Something that I have been working on for a while is getting organized. The problem with an unorganized person trying to get organized is that I don't know where to start. I have watched this show called neat on FitTv before and there are always great tips on there, but it is more of a show for people who keep too much junk and basically need to clean up.

On this show there is a lady that goes to people's houses with 3 big bins labeled KEEP/TOSS/DONATE. You can figure out the next part, right? After that, the homeowner gladly hands over the keys to their cleaned out junk rooms and she goes and buys the most awesome storage cabinets and desks and other really cool organizational tools and furniture. She finds things that seem to perfectly match whatever pile of junk the homeowner needs to keep. Lastly, she arranges everything to where each space is used to its full potential and everything looks so good.

A lot of the people on the show have problems throwing things away, which is what usually leads to the clutter. I don't really have that problem. I will throw away or donate almost anything! Clear it out! But I don't know what to do with what is left over. I have massive closets that are piled with junk from the floors through all the shelves to the ceilings. Drawers that are overflowing. Don't even get me started about all the pens, pencils, markers and paper laying around.

Besides the closets and drawers, which I think most people probably have problems with, there is my kitchen. We used to have a big island with cabinet space beneath that I kept all those small kitchen appliances in. We took the island bar out and now all the handy dandy appliances are sitting in my formal dining room - which is a waste of space. If the fish were not in the dining room, I would never walk in there!

Anyway. With all this being explained as if you care, I am on a kick to try to get organized. I don't think this is really a new year's resolution because I am not on a balls out mission for this. I have plenty of other balls out missions that I have. I can't chase this one too! But, when I am out at the store and see something that might work I will try it and see. On my next weekend off I will try to clean out one of those closets or something.

Maybe getting organized is one more step toward clearing more junk from in my head!

I can see Clearly Now...

I had a conversation yesterday with a close male friend about my worries with my husband. It made me realize that even though I have caught my husband lying on a couple of occasions about things that I don't really think he has cheated on me or anything. I don't feel any better about him lying and I still wonder why he would lie, but I think now is the time to let it go. I realize that this has been an issue of my feelings being hurt because I thought he would never lie to me, not an issue of mistrust.

I realized the my husband is human just like anybody else and he probably never meant to hurt my feelings. I don't think he was trying to hide anything in either instance. Really, I never did think he was trying to hide anything. It was odd to hear my friend say these things out loud. That's when I realized that these things were never real; they were only in my head and I was looking at them from some foreign point of view.

If someone were to ask me if I thought he was cheating on me I would definitely say No, but in my head I would keep thinking 'something is going on.' When my friend put a label on it and actually said the word 'cheating', for some reason, I knew the difference.

I know this sounds so psycho! Maybe my mental stability really is getting better and I am able to see situations a little more clearly now or maybe talking out loud really helped. In either case, I think I am ready to move on. Maybe I can get back to being a little more confident again too and back off on the anger some. I don't know if that is what has me down or what, but I am willing to go with it and see what happens.

Review of the Shred

After the porn store episode, I went home and actually wheezed along to my Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred. Really, there was not really wheezing. I started the Level 1 section.

She goes through a warm up which is funny to me because it is arm circles, which she calls windmills. Basically, you stand there and flail your arms back and forth and then front to back as if you are a plane. It looks really stupid and it doesn't really stretch you out of open you up. I think it was her attempt to have a different approach to a warm up or stretch. To be honest, I felt like I was in 6th grade gym class.

After the warm up, the video is set up in a circuit training type format. She alternates cardio with strength training, starting with, I think it was, 2 minutes of cardio. The first cardio interval was jumping jacks. Throughout Level 1 we also did butt kicks (running in place, kicking your heels up so far you kick yourself in the butt), boxing, and some other things. It did get my heart rate up. I felt like it was my real warm up. It was not too taxing though. It was not supposed to be though. This is Level 1!

After that, we went down to the floor for some push ups. I have always had trouble with push ups (big surprise! I am a girl). In the height of my working out a couple of months ago I was able to do 8, but that fades quickly.... so I did the sissy push ups so that I could keep up with the pace they were going at. Next, we did some lunges with hand weights and some rows and a lot of different types of lunges. A lot of work with hand weights and some work with both. One move kind of got to me. You hold the hand weights at a 90 degree angle and squat down. Then push up out of the squat as you push your arms with the weights up toward the sky. So many reps did get me.

Anyway, we did 3 or 4 intervals of cardio and strength. It was pretty good. Especially since I have not done any work outs for a couple of weeks. I did go on the Level 2 but I only got through the first cardio/strength interval before my phone started ringing off the hook and interrupting me.

Level 1 was pretty good, but could have been a little better. In some places I wanted to go faster than them and others I was a little slower. Level 2 looked very promising. After her fake warm up it looks like she works you a little more. I can't wait until I can go all the way through. I think doing Level 1 and Level 2 together will be good for me.

She did a lot of hamstring work and upper arm work, which I have been slacking on. If I would have gotten this DVD a couple of months ago this would not have been anything. However, I did enjoy it and my body really needed it. My upper arms are a little sore today.

All in all, it seems to be a good DVD. Maybe not worth all the hype, but good.

To the Porn Store

Yesterday afternoon it was pouring down rain and it was a little colder than it has been lately. I left work and sped home to, basically, do nothing. There is no need to go to work when you are not scheduled and it is raining so hard you can't see the cars 12ft in front of you.

I finished the laundry and cleaned up the kitchen some. I could not think of anything else to do so I decided that I wanted the new Playboy magazine because Audrina Patridge is supposed to be in it. So I went to the porn store.

I wish I knew where some foreign owned gas station is that has these inappropriate magazines on their shelves so that I don't have to go to the porn store by myself. It is awkward to go to the porn store by yourself if you are a girl because everyone else in there is a couple, a threesome, or a single weirdo guy. Nonetheless, for some reason I was bored and I was avoiding doing the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred DVD, which I had put in the DVD player right before going to the porn store.

I walk in and a cat runs by me brushing my ankles as it goes by. What?! One of my pet peeves is to not have animals in retail stores or restaurants! Mechanic shops and small offices where customers don't go in and out and places like that don't bother me, but for the most part, don't bring your pet to work!

After that, I pass the stripper shoes (I really want some of those overpriced shoes!) and the dildos and head for the magazine section and unfortunately, they don't have the issue of Playboy that I was looking for. Sad. Because I went all the way out there you would think that I would have picked up the issue they did have. I did not. There was a threesome (I don't really know their affiliation with each other but there were 2 girls and 1 guy) standing right in front of the magazine rack talking about something very redneckish that I don't even remember right now but it freaked me out to get too close to these people for some reason.

I go through the jokes/card section and end up in the cheap lingerie section. I took a look around at some of the stuff. Some of it would have been really cute if I had boobs! I realize that society doesn't really care if you are skinny as long as you have big boobs! It reminds me that my boob fund is still pretty much non-existant. I want boobs so bad!!!!

Defeated, I tell the cat goodbye and head home. There is different porn stre that I pass by everyday on my way home. I think I am going to stop there this afternoon to look for my magazine. They don't have a lingerie section!

Ready to Shred

Throughout my weight loss/fitness journey I have tried not to put a lot of money into the process because I didn't know how long I would stick with it. Besides that, there is not too awful much expense in running, which is what I seem to see the most progress with. I do not have a gym membership. Instead I have 2 sets of hand weights, a jump rope, a stability ball, and my trusty running shoes.

I do watch a couple of different shows on FitTV and I really like doing that, but the downfall is that at the end of the 30 minute or 1 hour show I am just getting started rather than ready to cool down like they are. I have a hard time following along with these shows on a regular basis because of my schedule and because I don't want C to be watching me while I sweat it out. This is not a bad way to get going though since it always changes and a lot of the shows work out a different body area everyday. It keeps your body guessing from day to day to do belly dancing one day and then circuit training the next day.

I have always liked the show The Biggest Loser, but I am not a fanatic and, truth be told, I used to watch it snacking on a bag of chips or a piece of chocolate cake. Jillian Michaels is my least favorite trainer on the show, however, I have heard that her Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred DVD is the most awesome thing in the history of workout DVDs. So, I asked for it for Christmas and one of my co-workers got it for me. I must say that even though I am not a Jillian fan, this was what I wanted most for Christmas.

Through the Christmas & New Year's season I did not have time to try it. take the time. Besides, C was home with me a lot through the holiday and the timing just was not right.>

Tonight, I had intended to go to work, but it would be useless with the weather being wet and cold like it is so, instead, I am going to get off my butt and take on this DVD. I look forward to giving you a review of it tomorrow. I am really curious as to how this will go since I have not done a lick of work in this wonderful new year. What better way to start than a brand new DVD?

Too Lazy to Give this One a Title

A new year and I am already behind. I have not started the inspiring picture blog yet. Hell, maybe I am not that inspired! Maybe there does not need to be a blog. No, I can't let myself off that easy. I am going to push myself to do this for the inspiration (which is lacking) and many other reasons. So, look for that to come, I guess.

Lately, I have been very unmotivated. I have not ran or worked out at all. I thought the break would be what I needed to get going again. I thought all the talk of new Year's resolutions would kick start me again, but so far it hasn't. I have lost all the progress I had made with my running and I can't even run a mile anymore. I knew that would happen. What kept me motivated in the first place was knowing that I didn't want to start over. Now look where I am.

I am not sleeping at night again. The past 3 nights I have had to leave my warm comfortable bed and go sleep on the couch so I could watch TV and not wake up my husband. Just like before, I can't shut my brain off at night. I think of everything going on during the day, I sing songs in my head, I remember things from the past, just anything. My brain does not have a neutral gear for sleeping time.

I am tired during the day, which has to be a side effect of the not sleeping thing (yes, look how smart I am to figure that out!). The past few days, when my alarm goes off I re set it for a later time. When I get home all I want to do is sleep. I wanted to call in to work today because I didn't think my eyes were going to open! How childish is that?

We are dog sitting for a friend of mine that is going to New Orleans for a few days. She is going to drop the dog off this afternoon. I was planning on going walking/running (since that is what I am reduced to now) but as the day goes by taking a nap seems to be a better plan. Maybe I will sneak into a yoga class today to see if that jump starts me.

If I don't get things back together soon I am going to be the big blob that I once was. People will go back to not noticing me and I will go back to not having anything to talk about. Whoo hoo! I guess I have something to look forward to now!