MAYBE Expectations

So many times in our lives, things don't turn out the way we planned or the way we thought they should have. Right now, I am severely discouraged because I am going through a time where that is happening ALOT. It makes me wonder if my expectations are too high or if I am naive or unreasonable.

You know, they say that if everybody thinks it but you, then you must be the weird one. That is kind of how I am looking at this. If everything is going wrong, maybe it is my thinking that is actually wrong. Maybe I shouldn't expect so much or maybe I am expecting the wrong things.

For instance, I always expected that my husband would always be my best friend. I hindsight, I realize that may have been a little naive.

I expected that I would be a confident person and that I would never be afraid to try anything new or different. Now, I realize that I probably have low self-esteem which can really get in the way of the confidence thing! I am not afraid to try new things, but I think that I don't do as good of a job as I could because I hold back some.

Even small things turn out this way. I just assume that if someone says that they are going to do something, then, they do it. Maybe other people don't actually take it that seriously. Maybe things aren't really a big deal.

Tell me if this is psycho, but I take it personally when I make plans with someone and they don't come through. I look at it as I was not important enough to keep the engagement for.

It is the "maybes" and "ifs" that drive me crazy. I mean, just count how many times I said "maybe" in this post.

MAYBE, if I put some distance between my husband and myself, things will get a little better. The problem is that I don't really know how to be a "wife." We have always been on a level of friends and now I feel like I have lost that element and I am just his wife (which, by the way, I look at as a down grade. I don't care what anybody says, the wife gets less respect than a friend.).

Then again, MAYBE, if I put distance between us, he will take it the wrong way and think that I am trying to pull away from him. Who knows. IF that happens, then I will surely screw everything up and it will be worse than it is now.

All I can say is... Pray for Me, PLEASE!


Updated Post: 09/08/08 10:56AM

This is my horoscope for the week according to MSN.com's horoscope. I found it to be interesting in light of this blog entry. Tell me what you think.

Your Lovescope - Week of September 8, 2008
Spats with the one you love may escalate during the first three days of this week as critical lunar energy steps in and helps to point out all the things that you don't like about your romantic situation. During this time it's especially important that you not get down on yourself for past actions. Guilt doesn't do anyone any good, so let it go and move on. Furthermore, if you start to feel your romantic partner coming down too hard on you, speak up in the moment instead of absorbing the attack and then running away and letting it fester as an open wound for months. For you, the real magic comes alive on Saturday and Sunday when the Moon swims in sensual Pisces and helps fulfill your romantic fantasies. This is the time for you and the one you love to expose your true sensitivity and enjoy the cozy, tender bliss that you crave.