These are the Days of My Life

Like sands from the hour glass.....

Today is Thursday and this week has taken sooo long! I can't remember time going by this slow in a while. Monday I actually ran 5 miles, which I needed so bad. Tuesday I sat in the hot tub and drank a beer rather than doing any strength training (can we say counterproductive). Wednesday I had to work, which I should be doing more of these days than I am. Today, I brought my running clothes so that I can run either at lunch or when I get off work.

My ex-best friend and I have been talking a little more lately. Tuesday she texted me as part of a mass text about getting a bunch of people together to go eat Friday for her birthday. I already made plans for Friday (which, as of yesterday, may fall through) and I told her that. She has not asked me to do anything with her since March or April of this year. I admit that I am kind of glad that I had other plans and had to say 'No' to her. You know how it is, you don't want to seem too available.

On one hand I want to do something for her and acknowledge her birthday. On the other hand, I STILL have some resentment toward her and I am having a difficult time letting go because she is such a different person. I don't like her current lifestyle or her new friends. I do realize that I have no control over any of that and it isn't my business. But, it does change who she is as a person and going back to a previous post, she is not someone with whom I would be friends with if I just met her today.

I would like to be friends with her again, but I want to be friends with her and not who she has become. So, I am now in the position of actually hanging out with her at some time over the weekend. On top of that, the plans that I made for Friday are probably going to fall through, so now I have to make the decision to go to her dinner thing (I don't want to be around her friends or around her when she is with her new friends). Or, I don't go and she finds out that I didn't do anything and didn't come to her birthday.

This would not normally be such a big deal; I would just blow her off and move on, but it seems like this might be a step towards mending things. This is a pivotal time where I have to decide if I want to be friends anymore.

It seems like I gripe about the same things over and over again. For that, dear readers, I am sorry. These are the trivial things that go on in my life, unfortunately.


Oh yeah, also this week, my mom said she was not going to talk to me anymore. Lovely