Happy or Not?

Keeping things balanced is getting harder and harder for me. A few months ago, I went through a really hard time emotionally and mentally and the only thing that made me feel better was to keep busy. Therefore, I took on a second job and in the free time I have between jobs, I run or workout or clean my house. It doesn't sound like much on paper but it does keep me busy from the time I get up until the time I go to bed.

These days I am doing a lot better, although I still have rare days where I only have to work 1 job. On those days, I still get a little uncomfortable in my own skin and usually end up beating myself up for not working out enough or I sleep.

Having said all that, I do get overwhelmed sometimes too. More so in the last couple of weeks than ever. I am hoping that it is just because I have had to go out of town for the past couple of weekends. The weekends are when I have the most time to do laundry and clean the house and do the regular maintenance type stuff. Since I have been gone during the weekend, I tried to fit this stuff in between jobs or whenever I can.

I think I have mentioned in a previous blog entry that when I am happy, I am content with being fat. I am the opposite of an emotional eater. When something is going on or if I am sad about something, then I don't have an appetite. Also, I am prone to having low self esteem so when I am down on myself I have motivation to keep working out.

I hope that my feeling of being over whelmed is not a result of me being a happier person lately. I want to continue to work on my fitness, but I fear that I am running out of steam! My goal is to be a happy person who can control her weight and fitness.

The good news is that while posting this entry the UPS man brought my new weights, jump rope and body ball! Maybe the new stuff can keep me going through this feeling. Whoo hoo!