I have a friend who is having a hard time. The guy she was dating did not turn out to be "The One." In my opinion (and hers too, I think), it is for the best that this one didn't work out. When he showed his true colors they were not pretty like rainbows.
I think it is wearing on her that she is getting to closer to 30 and she is not in a long term relationship. Even though I have not been in that situation, I can understand her frustration. This is honestly a great girl; she is one of the hottest people I know, and she is pretty self-sufficient. She doesn't need someone to take care of her or anything. I don't have a male perspective on it but I can't pinpoint anything about her that might not be desirable in a relationship. It seems to be playing on her self esteem that she has dated a handful of guys that turn out to be real jerks.
On top of the relationship stuff she texted me and said she is having trouble keeping track of her money. She makes good money, no doubt, but some people are better at budgeting than others.
I am telling this story, not to put my friend on front street, but because I can hear her desperation and I know that she is really down. She told me that she has never felt this way before.
This sounds all too familiar to me. Not too long ago I felt that everything was going wrong and that I could not do anything about it. More so than that, I felt like nobody cared. I felt abandoned by my friends and even my husband and family. I do not want her to feel that way. Everyone is entitled to have times where they feel down in the dumps, but the feeling in the pit of your stomach when you feel like you are all alone is horrible.
I can remember on several days thinking that if someone would have just called to say hi or sent me a text then maybe I could get out of the mindset I was in at the time. I wanted someone to pity me, I guess is what you might call it. Just for 5 minutes. I wanted someone to acknowledge that I was going through a bad time and tell me that it was OK.
I had people try to cheer me up, but they never asked why I was sad in the first place. I think I fell so hard because I didn't think anyone cared. I also think that's why my drinking got so bad.
I want her to know that I am there for her. I know from experience from trying to help a different friend through a divorce that I, evidently, don't give good advice so I want to be there just to listen when she needs it. I want her to know that I can empathize with her for feeling this way but I also acknowledge that it is not easy to go through the things she is going through. That there are no small problems. I think it would also be good for me to encourage her and point out that I know she is stronger than she thinks and this is going to be no big deal for her to get over.
Hopefully, I can help her through her bad time without loosing her as a friend like I did the last time. I hope that I have learned my lesson. I don't know if it is a good idea to go down this road again, but I am going to talk to her and let her know I am here if she needs me.
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