Ambition or Greed?

I want to talk about aspirations and ambition. All my life I have had this need to make a lot of money and/or to be successful. If you just look at that statement it looks like I am a shallow person. If I were to have said, I am an ambitious person with aspirations to become the top producer in my field, that has a positive connotation that most people would not think twice about.

I have two jobs, not because I need money to pay my bills but because I want more money to do what I want to do. More than money, I want to be successful at anything I do. I want to be the best and I want the recognition for being the best. Furthermore, I admit that I have less respect for people that don't have dreams of being something more. I

When I read this back it sounds so snobby and condescending. I don't intend to come off that way, but I can't think of a better way to say it. This is not an issue of me not liking people who make less money. I like or dislike people based on their personality and how they treat people and things like that. I don't think I am better than someone who makes less money. I just think that people should always be trying to do a little better.

I am not only talking about finances or position, although it is hard to not acknowledge that finances and position get you a little more in our society than most other things. But, maybe it is being a better cook or having the best hair style. Doesn't it say something about a person if they have the gumption to try to be the best at something? That being said, if you want the best hairstyle you might have to put more money into it, therefore, you have to work harder or budget more to reach that goal. I do not condone taking the money that was supposed to be used for the baby's formula either. The goal is to work toward having enough money to pay for both. Or, to be creative and find another way to have your hair done. I am getting off track here talking about hair!

I know someone who says she wants a bigger house or a better car. But, when it comes time to work she is the first person to take a day off or to leave early. She doesn't want to do anything more than what she has been doing for the past few years. It is an inconvenience to work late and she won't take on any extracurricular activities - probably because it would require too much effort on her part. In addition to not really being productive herself, she has a boyfriend who does not work. For years he has not worked and she puts up with it and supports him. So, not only is she not productive, but one could argue that she is counter-productive by supporting another able-bodied person.

I guess this rant is mostly an eye opener for me because I have been slacking. I need to realize that I want more, therefore I have to work to get more. Some people do not have to work as hard because life has dealt them a different hand. But with the path I have chosen I have to work hard to get what I want. I can't change anything or anybody but me. In my mind, I think the world would be a different place if everybody had some severe ambition, which I suppose is why I hold people to higher standards. I know people whose ambition has diminished since I have known them. I do not deny that I have less respect and generally want less to do with those few people as a result. I don't like people to be content with barely getting by.

I would like to reiterate the fact that I don't like people less or think I am better than anybody who has less or is going through a rough time. I have a problem with people who lay down and take what they were handed as if it is their only option. As long as you are scratching and clawing to get better, you and I are just fine.

This is probably the worst thing I have ever written. Not only the subject matter, but the scatter brained thoughts that don't necessarily go together. Let me know if your opinion of me changes after reading this.