To the Porn Store

Yesterday afternoon it was pouring down rain and it was a little colder than it has been lately. I left work and sped home to, basically, do nothing. There is no need to go to work when you are not scheduled and it is raining so hard you can't see the cars 12ft in front of you.

I finished the laundry and cleaned up the kitchen some. I could not think of anything else to do so I decided that I wanted the new Playboy magazine because Audrina Patridge is supposed to be in it. So I went to the porn store.

I wish I knew where some foreign owned gas station is that has these inappropriate magazines on their shelves so that I don't have to go to the porn store by myself. It is awkward to go to the porn store by yourself if you are a girl because everyone else in there is a couple, a threesome, or a single weirdo guy. Nonetheless, for some reason I was bored and I was avoiding doing the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred DVD, which I had put in the DVD player right before going to the porn store.

I walk in and a cat runs by me brushing my ankles as it goes by. What?! One of my pet peeves is to not have animals in retail stores or restaurants! Mechanic shops and small offices where customers don't go in and out and places like that don't bother me, but for the most part, don't bring your pet to work!

After that, I pass the stripper shoes (I really want some of those overpriced shoes!) and the dildos and head for the magazine section and unfortunately, they don't have the issue of Playboy that I was looking for. Sad. Because I went all the way out there you would think that I would have picked up the issue they did have. I did not. There was a threesome (I don't really know their affiliation with each other but there were 2 girls and 1 guy) standing right in front of the magazine rack talking about something very redneckish that I don't even remember right now but it freaked me out to get too close to these people for some reason.

I go through the jokes/card section and end up in the cheap lingerie section. I took a look around at some of the stuff. Some of it would have been really cute if I had boobs! I realize that society doesn't really care if you are skinny as long as you have big boobs! It reminds me that my boob fund is still pretty much non-existant. I want boobs so bad!!!!

Defeated, I tell the cat goodbye and head home. There is different porn stre that I pass by everyday on my way home. I think I am going to stop there this afternoon to look for my magazine. They don't have a lingerie section!