Running is not going well. Neither is not eating chocolate. The weather is perfect most days, but I have not been able to get into gear. I have run a few times, but it is not spectacular. I have my eating in check again, except for the chocolate, which I am just going to have to deal with. (Really -I am not upset about that!) I am sleeping all the time again and it is causing me to drag during the day. When I get off of work I just want to go back to sleep and the cycle continues.
I have fallen into the habit of going out to eat for lunch and dinner on the weekends at work. And, my husband is a great cook. He makes all the fatty, fried, stuff with creamy dipping sauces. Yumm! I am getting back to resisting the temptations though. I am not horrible on the food. I am going over on my calories, but the quality of food has progressively gotten better. One step at a time, right?
On another note, my debt relief program is going well (despite the gobs of money spent on fast food.). I have one account paid off and next month will start on one of the cars. With the majority of this debt being car debt, I think I will be able to really feel the progress once one of the cars is paid off. I am trying to put a certain number of dollars in the savings account each month and right now it looks like that amount might be short for April. My first pay period for March at my 2nd job was not what I have budgeted for savings. In January & February I was a little over my monthly goal so hopefully it all evens out. Yes, I realize that it does not make sense for me to have money in the bank while I have balances, but this is what works for us. We like the cushion for peace of mind because my husband's income is 100% commission based on car sales. I don't think I have to explain our anxiety!
I don't know about you guys, but I am sick of all the financial talk and the recession and things going bad. It feels as though I have cabin fever, but there is no way to get out of the house. I can't wait until all this starts straightening out. I am praying for all those who are dealing with loss of income of loss of a house, etc. Everyday I am on the verge too, which is why I am scrambling now.
Maybe we should all smoke a *j* and eat brownies for a while. Nah, that won't work. We will just wake up sober and fat. I can handle sober but I can't handle starting over!
Oh yea, speaking of smoking, my husband is trying to quit smoking (again). I think he has a good start this time and it seems he really wants it. I will be so proud of him when he kicks this habit. Not because of all of society's views (I can't be hypocritical. I am a recovered smoker.) but because I know it bothers him that he has not been able to quit. So, along with all the people dealing with life right now, my heart goes out to him as well.
Good luck to everybody.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
I thought I posted this days ago... Oops!
I was involved in a wreck this past January. I don't know that I even mentioned it here, as I was so stressed over it that every time I talked about it I could feel my blood boiling. Long story short, I was hit by someone pulling out of a driveway, making a left hand turn, but I received a ticket at the time because the officer said that I was driving in the turning lane. [In my whining 3 year old voice, "I was not!"]. Well, Monday morning I get to go to court to dispute my ticket and try to get it taken off my driving record. If I can get it dismissed, my insurance company will subrogate against the other party involved for the damages.
I live in a big city that has lots of bad drivers and lots of criminals (the traffic court division is in the same building as the jail house). I have never, ever been to this building for anything. I am scared! I feel like I should be using my 3 year old voice because I feel the need to hide under my bed. Don't get me wrong - I am not weak or easily intimidated, but the stories that I have heard from people going to the courthouse are really horrible.
UPDATE 03/18/09: I really thought that I finished this post and, well, posted it. But, as I sit here I noticed that it never went anywhere. So to update you on things... I went to the courthouse on Monday. The court time on my ticket was 9:00 AM. I got there at 7:30! I am always early, people. Maybe not always this early, but I am always early. After paying the $10 to park across the street from the courthouse, the plan was to scope it out and see where I needed to be and go back and sit in the car for a while to prepare myself.
When I went through the metal detectors (2 in the same hallway), found my way upstairs to the court rooms (I almost went to the visiting section of the jail!), and then found Division 2 (Honorable Tarik Sugarmon), I found that people were already waiting to get in. WOW! I was not first for once! I wanted to get everything over as quickly as possible so I decided to stand in line rather than going to sit in the car.
I am so glad I did! As 9:00 got closer, the chatter got louder. Employees started showing up for work, lawyers started looking for their clients, people wandered around looking for the correct court room... I looked around and noticed that I was standing in a hallway with, literally, several hundred other people.
Finally, the clerk came around and handed me a piece of paper with my name, date of birth, and the charges against me and I marched into the court room to face the judge (which I was told by friends that I would not have to do...). He asked me questions about what happened and then quickly told me that he was going to dismiss my case. Yay!
The whole experience was intimidating, but quick. Once things started moving it probably only took about 10 minutes! Nobody set themselves on fire in my presence and I found the courage to talk to the judge in a grown up voice - not a shaky 3 year old.
To make a long story short, my insurance company is going to pay for my damages and the other party's insurance is going to pay for her damages. Some 50/50 law crap. I don't get my deductible back but I don't have to pay for her damages. Basically, my insurance will go up, just not as much as I had feared.
Yay justice.
I live in a big city that has lots of bad drivers and lots of criminals (the traffic court division is in the same building as the jail house). I have never, ever been to this building for anything. I am scared! I feel like I should be using my 3 year old voice because I feel the need to hide under my bed. Don't get me wrong - I am not weak or easily intimidated, but the stories that I have heard from people going to the courthouse are really horrible.
UPDATE 03/18/09: I really thought that I finished this post and, well, posted it. But, as I sit here I noticed that it never went anywhere. So to update you on things... I went to the courthouse on Monday. The court time on my ticket was 9:00 AM. I got there at 7:30! I am always early, people. Maybe not always this early, but I am always early. After paying the $10 to park across the street from the courthouse, the plan was to scope it out and see where I needed to be and go back and sit in the car for a while to prepare myself.
When I went through the metal detectors (2 in the same hallway), found my way upstairs to the court rooms (I almost went to the visiting section of the jail!), and then found Division 2 (Honorable Tarik Sugarmon), I found that people were already waiting to get in. WOW! I was not first for once! I wanted to get everything over as quickly as possible so I decided to stand in line rather than going to sit in the car.
I am so glad I did! As 9:00 got closer, the chatter got louder. Employees started showing up for work, lawyers started looking for their clients, people wandered around looking for the correct court room... I looked around and noticed that I was standing in a hallway with, literally, several hundred other people.
Finally, the clerk came around and handed me a piece of paper with my name, date of birth, and the charges against me and I marched into the court room to face the judge (which I was told by friends that I would not have to do...). He asked me questions about what happened and then quickly told me that he was going to dismiss my case. Yay!
The whole experience was intimidating, but quick. Once things started moving it probably only took about 10 minutes! Nobody set themselves on fire in my presence and I found the courage to talk to the judge in a grown up voice - not a shaky 3 year old.
To make a long story short, my insurance company is going to pay for my damages and the other party's insurance is going to pay for her damages. Some 50/50 law crap. I don't get my deductible back but I don't have to pay for her damages. Basically, my insurance will go up, just not as much as I had feared.
Yay justice.
Motivation and Money
I am at a motivational crossroads. With work, with running and exercise, with cleaning the house, with taking my weekly pictures, with my blogs, with everything. Some days I am fully loaded and ready to go and others I just want to crawl in bed and pull the covers over my head. (I have taken to getting a nap in on my lunch breaks!! What the hell is wrong with me?!). I have a friend who berates himself all the time and it is awkward and gets old quickly so I don't want to go on and on. In my experience if I put it here, I am usually able to do something about it and move on. Speaking of moving on...
My Dad is my biggest hero of all time. A couple of years ago he was diagnosed with hepatitis and had to take six months worth of weekly shots that could have led him to remission. Millions of people find themselves in this situation; the shots work for some and for some they don't. For my Dad, the shots did not work. He had the option to go through another round of shot treatment, but because of how ill the shots made him, he opted to live as long as his liver will allow without the shots.
Let me back up a little. Daddy drove a truck for years and years until my sister and I came along and then he went into construction so that he could be home with my mom and us. Construction is the only thing I have really known him to do, although I grew up with stories of his truck driving days. When Daddy was taking the shots, construction was too physical to keep up with (I bet age had a part in it too. He is getting old!). Really, it made him so ill that any type of job was too much. He struggled through and worked most of the time even though he was dragging and in pain.
Anyhoo - I am telling this story for a reason... When he got over the shots, he decided to go back to driving a truck because it is not as physically demanding. I thought it was a great idea and he was excited. I co-signed for a loan for him to go back through the school and get his commercial license. He graduated and got a job right out of school with a company and went to driving. A few months later, we all find ourselves in the mess we are in now and he is laid off. There is still a few payments left on the loan so I picked up the payments. I did it for two reasons. One, to protect my credit rating and two, so that he did not have to worry about the expense until he found another job.
Fast forward a couple of months to the present. Daddy finds out that I have been paying the loan and we get into a 'discussion' about him paying me back. I explain that I don't need him to pay me back, but if he wants to then he can when he gets another job. Until that happens I am in no hurry to get the money back. The way I see it, if we are both making payments then the loan will be paid off early and we will save that much more on interest. Truth be told, I would like to pay off the loan entirely, as I see this as the same as making payments on a car we have already sold. I would never bring up paying the loan off though.
My Mom and Dad have always been the best parents that I know. Of course, I am biased! But, they always put me and my sister first and have done everything they could for us. I realize that that is part of the job description as a parent, but they did a hell of a job. I know a lot of parents who may say they agree, but their actions don't really support the theory of living for their kids like Mom and Dad do. I admit that on my list of reasons to not have kids, one of those reasons is because I don't feel that I can live up to the excellent job my parents did. I saw this loan as a way I could be there for him (and Mom) the way they have always done for me. Of course, this is only a fraction of what I owe them.
Was this an insult? Was it demeaning? My intent was not to make anyone feel bad or embarrassed, I was just trying to help. My parents are the type that won't even let us pay for dinner if we all go out. Or if I drive the 200 miles to see them, they want to give me gas money. I dropped the discussion and Dad will continue to pay the loan and if a month comes by when he needs me to pay it, then he will let me know. I am fine with that. Like I said, I wanted to help, not make them unhappy, therefore, however he wants to do it is fine with me. As long as he is content.
What is the best way to handle truly humble people? I want to show gratitude and they want to argue back and forth about them being my parents no matter how old I get (Don't get me wrong, I fully know that they will be my parents, even if I live to be 245!) My actions are a product of how they raised me - to put others first!!! For now, I will lay off of this.
My Dad is my biggest hero of all time. A couple of years ago he was diagnosed with hepatitis and had to take six months worth of weekly shots that could have led him to remission. Millions of people find themselves in this situation; the shots work for some and for some they don't. For my Dad, the shots did not work. He had the option to go through another round of shot treatment, but because of how ill the shots made him, he opted to live as long as his liver will allow without the shots.
Let me back up a little. Daddy drove a truck for years and years until my sister and I came along and then he went into construction so that he could be home with my mom and us. Construction is the only thing I have really known him to do, although I grew up with stories of his truck driving days. When Daddy was taking the shots, construction was too physical to keep up with (I bet age had a part in it too. He is getting old!). Really, it made him so ill that any type of job was too much. He struggled through and worked most of the time even though he was dragging and in pain.
Anyhoo - I am telling this story for a reason... When he got over the shots, he decided to go back to driving a truck because it is not as physically demanding. I thought it was a great idea and he was excited. I co-signed for a loan for him to go back through the school and get his commercial license. He graduated and got a job right out of school with a company and went to driving. A few months later, we all find ourselves in the mess we are in now and he is laid off. There is still a few payments left on the loan so I picked up the payments. I did it for two reasons. One, to protect my credit rating and two, so that he did not have to worry about the expense until he found another job.
Fast forward a couple of months to the present. Daddy finds out that I have been paying the loan and we get into a 'discussion' about him paying me back. I explain that I don't need him to pay me back, but if he wants to then he can when he gets another job. Until that happens I am in no hurry to get the money back. The way I see it, if we are both making payments then the loan will be paid off early and we will save that much more on interest. Truth be told, I would like to pay off the loan entirely, as I see this as the same as making payments on a car we have already sold. I would never bring up paying the loan off though.
My Mom and Dad have always been the best parents that I know. Of course, I am biased! But, they always put me and my sister first and have done everything they could for us. I realize that that is part of the job description as a parent, but they did a hell of a job. I know a lot of parents who may say they agree, but their actions don't really support the theory of living for their kids like Mom and Dad do. I admit that on my list of reasons to not have kids, one of those reasons is because I don't feel that I can live up to the excellent job my parents did. I saw this loan as a way I could be there for him (and Mom) the way they have always done for me. Of course, this is only a fraction of what I owe them.
Was this an insult? Was it demeaning? My intent was not to make anyone feel bad or embarrassed, I was just trying to help. My parents are the type that won't even let us pay for dinner if we all go out. Or if I drive the 200 miles to see them, they want to give me gas money. I dropped the discussion and Dad will continue to pay the loan and if a month comes by when he needs me to pay it, then he will let me know. I am fine with that. Like I said, I wanted to help, not make them unhappy, therefore, however he wants to do it is fine with me. As long as he is content.
What is the best way to handle truly humble people? I want to show gratitude and they want to argue back and forth about them being my parents no matter how old I get (Don't get me wrong, I fully know that they will be my parents, even if I live to be 245!) My actions are a product of how they raised me - to put others first!!! For now, I will lay off of this.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
After Being Away So Long...
I have been such a slacker on my running for the past couple of months. My excuse, however lame it is, is that it has been cold/rainy/snowy outside. I really hate cold weather and I really tried all winter to ignore the cold and push through it, but I am just not that strong! About 30 degrees is about as cold as I can go. Even that is pushing it because I don't like suffocating in my sweatshirts and freezing on my arms! I can never get enough layers on my arms...
In the process of playing dodge ball with the weather I got really unmotivated. I have been so extremely tired lately and I am pretty sure it is because I am not much more active than a rock. We went to Las Vegas on vacation and I felt like a failure because I was a little puffy and un-energetic. One of the reasons I got into all this stuff is because I wanted to be less self conscious about myself in these situations.
Yesterday I hit the pavement! The husband was at work and I was off so I had about 4 hours by myself. I used that time to try and get back on track. I have to tell you that it was awesome! I am so out of practice that I could not run to long at a time without stopping, so that part was not awesome. But, the wind was blowing just a little and it was kind of overcast outside and it was just perfect! Sweat built up on the back of my neck (That is really TMI, unless you feel the way I do about running!) and my legs had more of a purpose than just getting me from place to place.
I can't believe I have taken this much time off. I miss this. I have heard people say that they feel better when they exercise, but now I understand what that means. I have felt like crap for a while now but I thought it was depression and me getting sick. I have not wanted to go out and do anything or clean my house and my sales have been down. My only problem now is trying to get my endurance back up there so that I have the motivation to stick with it.
I only ran for about 30 minutes, but when I got home I was able to finish my laundry and cook dinner and clean the house (yes, I have been that lazy!). Now, if I can lay off the chocolate, I might be worth something! But, one step at a time.
In the process of playing dodge ball with the weather I got really unmotivated. I have been so extremely tired lately and I am pretty sure it is because I am not much more active than a rock. We went to Las Vegas on vacation and I felt like a failure because I was a little puffy and un-energetic. One of the reasons I got into all this stuff is because I wanted to be less self conscious about myself in these situations.
Yesterday I hit the pavement! The husband was at work and I was off so I had about 4 hours by myself. I used that time to try and get back on track. I have to tell you that it was awesome! I am so out of practice that I could not run to long at a time without stopping, so that part was not awesome. But, the wind was blowing just a little and it was kind of overcast outside and it was just perfect! Sweat built up on the back of my neck (That is really TMI, unless you feel the way I do about running!) and my legs had more of a purpose than just getting me from place to place.
I can't believe I have taken this much time off. I miss this. I have heard people say that they feel better when they exercise, but now I understand what that means. I have felt like crap for a while now but I thought it was depression and me getting sick. I have not wanted to go out and do anything or clean my house and my sales have been down. My only problem now is trying to get my endurance back up there so that I have the motivation to stick with it.
I only ran for about 30 minutes, but when I got home I was able to finish my laundry and cook dinner and clean the house (yes, I have been that lazy!). Now, if I can lay off the chocolate, I might be worth something! But, one step at a time.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
My New Stimulus Plan
I finally got my husband to agree to let me start paying off all of our bills early! I spent most of my day yesterday planning a budget and actually writing down 3 scenarios of how we can pay off our debts early.
We have 5 financed accounts (Mortgage, signature loan, 2 cars, and a student loan that I co-signed for someone on) that we pay on in addition to regular household bills (utilities, insurance, phone, etc). Thankfully, none of this is credit card debt! But, that's a ton to be paying on! Don't get me wrong, we don't have a problem paying our bills and we most certainly have not taken on more than we can handle (even if I were to quit my 2nd job) but we both have jobs that are not so much, economy proof. So I feel that the less we are actually obligated to the better off we would be if, God forbid, something should ever happen.
The first option I came up with is to pay a couple hundred dollars in addition to the obligated amount for each account. That would permit us to pay off everything slowly at one time, with the last payment being made in June of 2011.
The second option is to pay at least $1,000 in addition to the obligated payment on 1 account until it is paid off while maintaining the regular payments on the other 4 accounts. In this scenario, 4 out of the 5 accounts would be paid by November 2010 and the 5th account paid off in 2011.
The third option is to keep putting money in a savings account until the balance in the account is high enough to pay off one of the accounts. Then, build it back up again and start over. The appeal to this is that if one of us does loose a job during the course of this, then we would have the money to live on.
We ultimately opted for option #2, as option #1 is too hard to keep up with and option #3 is not far off from what we are doing now and we have not been successful. It is too easy to build that savings account up and use the money for a new TV or a new deck, etc. I plan to continue to save 100% of my income from my second job. Being that my husband is on commission, I based his income on the smallest check I have ever seen him bring home. Anything he brings home over that amount we can either save or use as 'fun money.'
Things are going to be tight until about November of this year which is when our first bill will be paid. When that particular bill is paid off we will have an additional $250 to toward our everyday living. A lot of people would say that I should take the $250 and put it towards one of the other accounts, but I am being realistic here. We spend a lot of money! And, while I am trying to do better, I know that if we don't give ourselves some leeway this will never work. We are in this for the long haul!
Wish us luck on our little journey! If we don't make it in the exact time frame I will be okay with that. Just making headway will be good for me!
By the way, for my research I used Bankrate.com and mint.com (although mint.com required too much information and work on my part so I quickly abandoned it!). Both are great sights.
If anyone has ever done this or has used any of these methods, please let me know how it was. Or, if you have any suggestions or advice I am all ears!
We have 5 financed accounts (Mortgage, signature loan, 2 cars, and a student loan that I co-signed for someone on) that we pay on in addition to regular household bills (utilities, insurance, phone, etc). Thankfully, none of this is credit card debt! But, that's a ton to be paying on! Don't get me wrong, we don't have a problem paying our bills and we most certainly have not taken on more than we can handle (even if I were to quit my 2nd job) but we both have jobs that are not so much, economy proof. So I feel that the less we are actually obligated to the better off we would be if, God forbid, something should ever happen.
The first option I came up with is to pay a couple hundred dollars in addition to the obligated amount for each account. That would permit us to pay off everything slowly at one time, with the last payment being made in June of 2011.
The second option is to pay at least $1,000 in addition to the obligated payment on 1 account until it is paid off while maintaining the regular payments on the other 4 accounts. In this scenario, 4 out of the 5 accounts would be paid by November 2010 and the 5th account paid off in 2011.
The third option is to keep putting money in a savings account until the balance in the account is high enough to pay off one of the accounts. Then, build it back up again and start over. The appeal to this is that if one of us does loose a job during the course of this, then we would have the money to live on.
We ultimately opted for option #2, as option #1 is too hard to keep up with and option #3 is not far off from what we are doing now and we have not been successful. It is too easy to build that savings account up and use the money for a new TV or a new deck, etc. I plan to continue to save 100% of my income from my second job. Being that my husband is on commission, I based his income on the smallest check I have ever seen him bring home. Anything he brings home over that amount we can either save or use as 'fun money.'
Things are going to be tight until about November of this year which is when our first bill will be paid. When that particular bill is paid off we will have an additional $250 to toward our everyday living. A lot of people would say that I should take the $250 and put it towards one of the other accounts, but I am being realistic here. We spend a lot of money! And, while I am trying to do better, I know that if we don't give ourselves some leeway this will never work. We are in this for the long haul!
Wish us luck on our little journey! If we don't make it in the exact time frame I will be okay with that. Just making headway will be good for me!
By the way, for my research I used Bankrate.com and mint.com (although mint.com required too much information and work on my part so I quickly abandoned it!). Both are great sights.
If anyone has ever done this or has used any of these methods, please let me know how it was. Or, if you have any suggestions or advice I am all ears!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Update
The past few days I have been a little anxious. We are going on vacation Sunday (Whoo hoo!) and I feel like I don't have anything done. I went to buy some clothes yesterday during lunch, but didn't really find anything. I bought a shirt, which I think I will be taking back. I have gained back so much weight and I am so disappointed in myself. Because of the weight I am self conscious in clothes again. I have consumed and enjoyed every brownie, chocolate chip cookie, Reese peanut butter cup, and any other form of chocolate that has been put in front of my face, therefore, I have only myself to blame, But, dang it has been good!
If I can't get myself back on track soon then I will quit talking and trying all together. Only because I know how annoying it is to listen to someone whine about not working out or eating too much. There is nothing to it but to do it.One day I will get back to it and in the meantime I don't want to be 'that' person. With the weather warming up maybe I will have better luck.
To visit the Vegas thing again... I am so nervous about going. I know that I am going to forget something. We don't have a direct flight, so I am worried about not making the connection for some reason and then there is the whole thing about being in a city I don't know. I think I would feel better if there was a big group of us going, which is what usually happens when I go on vacation. Not that I don't have confidence in my husband and myself to make it, but it is a bit overwhelming.
I just have to keep telling myself that if we miss our flight and get lost or something bad happens then we will be together. After all that is what this vacation is all about!
If I can't get myself back on track soon then I will quit talking and trying all together. Only because I know how annoying it is to listen to someone whine about not working out or eating too much. There is nothing to it but to do it.
To visit the Vegas thing again... I am so nervous about going. I know that I am going to forget something. We don't have a direct flight, so I am worried about not making the connection for some reason and then there is the whole thing about being in a city I don't know. I think I would feel better if there was a big group of us going, which is what usually happens when I go on vacation. Not that I don't have confidence in my husband and myself to make it, but it is a bit overwhelming.
I just have to keep telling myself that if we miss our flight and get lost or something bad happens then we will be together. After all that is what this vacation is all about!
Friday, February 6, 2009
Past, Present, Future
When I was in 8th grade my English teacher made us write a time capsule letter about all the things that were going on in our lives at that time and who we were or were not friends with and anything we felt that was important. She said that in 5 years she would mail the letter to whatever specified address we thought we would be at in 5 years and the thought was that we could see that most of the things that happen in 8th grade are irrelevant and also as a funny reminder of how much you grow up (or not) during that time.
I left the 8th grade several years ago but I have thought about this letter from time to time. At the time, I gave my parents' address for Ms. Stitle to mail my time capsule letter to, but - something I would not have guessed in 8th grade - I moved out of mom and dad's house (before 5 years had past) and shortly after that the house was foreclosed on so mom and dad were not there to check the mail. Therefore, I never got my letter. Whoever lived in that house probably got a kick out of my 8th grade letter, if it ever made it!
Dove has their Real Beauty Campaign and they have done a similar project. One of their journalists has written a letter, present day, to herself when she was 14 years old. I thought I might take a stab at it. I wrote a letter to myself when I was 14 and I also wrote a letter to myself in ten years, when I am 37.
I won't post the letters here because they really are irrelevant as they were in 8th grade. The general public doesn't want to hear about my teenage insecurities or about my fears for the future! But, I challenge you to write a letter to yourself, either in present or past tense. You might be surprised at what comes out on canvas.
I left the 8th grade several years ago but I have thought about this letter from time to time. At the time, I gave my parents' address for Ms. Stitle to mail my time capsule letter to, but - something I would not have guessed in 8th grade - I moved out of mom and dad's house (before 5 years had past) and shortly after that the house was foreclosed on so mom and dad were not there to check the mail. Therefore, I never got my letter. Whoever lived in that house probably got a kick out of my 8th grade letter, if it ever made it!
Dove has their Real Beauty Campaign and they have done a similar project. One of their journalists has written a letter, present day, to herself when she was 14 years old. I thought I might take a stab at it. I wrote a letter to myself when I was 14 and I also wrote a letter to myself in ten years, when I am 37.
I won't post the letters here because they really are irrelevant as they were in 8th grade. The general public doesn't want to hear about my teenage insecurities or about my fears for the future! But, I challenge you to write a letter to yourself, either in present or past tense. You might be surprised at what comes out on canvas.
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