Making the Run

Yesterday I had plans to leave work, go running, pick up the most delish deep dish pizza, meet a friend and go home and watch the basketball games. When I changed clothes before I left work, I realized that I did not bring socks!!!! I have never worn tennis shoes without socks. The feel and the smell... the whole thing grosses me out. Whenever I see people wearing tennis shoes without socks, my skin crawls.

In addition to the feel and the smell I was also wondering about the blisters... I was pretty well punking out of running. Some days talking myself out of running is not hard to do and with so much going on yesterday I didn't have to use my best charm.

I was on the phone with a co-worker in one of our other branches talking about an account we had worked hard on all day. The conversation went a little like this:

Judy: "This policy form actually excludes more of his operations than the
renewal offer from the incumbent."

Me: "Let me ask you something that has nothing to do with this."

Judy: "Good I am so tired of this account. Let's talk about something
else."

Me: "I forgot my socks to go running when I leave here this afternoon.
Should I run without socks?

Judy: "Ewww. That's gross! Won't you get blisters? I mean, I don't run,
but seems like that wouldn't be good for your feet."

Me: "Yea, you have a point. I really need to run though."

Judy: "Stop by a Walgreens and get a pair for a couple of
dollars."

Woah, That was a good idea. Besides, I love socks! I can certainly get a new pair or two! The only problem was that the only place like Walgreens where I could buy a cheap pair of socks would have put me on the other side of the park and half way home. So, I thought of one more thing.

I am quite frequently made fun of because I usually have more clothes in my car than I have in my closet. I ventured in the truck of my car and actually found a pair of dirty crumpled up socks... Yay! Basically, I traded one kind of gross for another. But - mentally it made me feel better and I went running.

Granted, the run sucked, but I did it. A little over half way through the 2nd of 3 laps I had a little bit of chest pain and had to walk most of the rest of the way, I did not punk out. I finished.

Today, while I sit here at 3:29, I am about to go change clothes - and socks - and go at it again today.

Running, Eating, Saving and Smoking

Running is not going well. Neither is not eating chocolate. The weather is perfect most days, but I have not been able to get into gear. I have run a few times, but it is not spectacular. I have my eating in check again, except for the chocolate, which I am just going to have to deal with. (Really -I am not upset about that!) I am sleeping all the time again and it is causing me to drag during the day. When I get off of work I just want to go back to sleep and the cycle continues.

I have fallen into the habit of going out to eat for lunch and dinner on the weekends at work. And, my husband is a great cook. He makes all the fatty, fried, stuff with creamy dipping sauces. Yumm! I am getting back to resisting the temptations though. I am not horrible on the food. I am going over on my calories, but the quality of food has progressively gotten better. One step at a time, right?

On another note, my debt relief program is going well (despite the gobs of money spent on fast food.). I have one account paid off and next month will start on one of the cars. With the majority of this debt being car debt, I think I will be able to really feel the progress once one of the cars is paid off. I am trying to put a certain number of dollars in the savings account each month and right now it looks like that amount might be short for April. My first pay period for March at my 2nd job was not what I have budgeted for savings. In January & February I was a little over my monthly goal so hopefully it all evens out. Yes, I realize that it does not make sense for me to have money in the bank while I have balances, but this is what works for us. We like the cushion for peace of mind because my husband's income is 100% commission based on car sales. I don't think I have to explain our anxiety!

I don't know about you guys, but I am sick of all the financial talk and the recession and things going bad. It feels as though I have cabin fever, but there is no way to get out of the house. I can't wait until all this starts straightening out. I am praying for all those who are dealing with loss of income of loss of a house, etc. Everyday I am on the verge too, which is why I am scrambling now.

Maybe we should all smoke a *j* and eat brownies for a while. Nah, that won't work. We will just wake up sober and fat. I can handle sober but I can't handle starting over!

Oh yea, speaking of smoking, my husband is trying to quit smoking (again). I think he has a good start this time and it seems he really wants it. I will be so proud of him when he kicks this habit. Not because of all of society's views (I can't be hypocritical. I am a recovered smoker.) but because I know it bothers him that he has not been able to quit. So, along with all the people dealing with life right now, my heart goes out to him as well.

Good luck to everybody.

Upward and Onward

For the second half of the month at the dealership, I have not had a lot of sales. I have been kind of frustrated with it and was going to go in to work a couple of extra nights last week, but the wreck kind of got in the way of my regular life last week. I had to work Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Friday I just wanted to go home from my day job and go to sleep. I was not in the mood to go to work. I went in and got nothing. Ughh! I was so mad. Saturday we were so busy we could not keep up with traffic. Saturday, I got nothing. My husband, however, sold two cars on Saturday. I was so mad!!! I went home Saturday night, had a beer and ate ice cream for dinner. I was a big baby about the situation, really.

Normally, we are not too busy on Sunday so I went in with the attitude that I was going to go in and whatever happens, will happen. My husband and I even went to lunch about an hour after we got there because we just didn't want to be there. Shortly after we got back from lunch I sold a car. Whoo hoo! I took another couple of customers after that and sold another car. Whoo hoo x two!

I am back on the upward swing with my sales, it seems. On the other hand, still no workouts to really speak of. We tried out a new place to eat and it was so delicious we ate there twice over the weekend. We also ate out a couple of times in addition to this new place. As I mentioned earlier, I had beer and ice cream for one meal. Plainly, I am doing great with looking descent in Vegas in a few weeks. HA HA HA HA!

I know this has nothing to do with anything else I have written here, but let me just say that I love waking up next to my husband in the mornings. During the week when I have to get up early, I miss not being there to wake up with him. OK - enough mushy stuff. Have a good day!

Fall From Grace

I ran yesterday! I only ran around the block at home, not at the park therefore, I only went 2 miles, AND I didn't run the whole way. Yeah, no kidding. I am so out of it. It really took a lot for me to go out too because when I got home my husband had made roasted lamb with fresh green beans. YummM! On top of that, he asked me twice, "Are you sure you want to go run?" Do you know how hard that is??? Oh well. It was not great, but I did it. I wonder if I will get back into things either after the first of the year or this spring. I really hope so.

I have the same little sob story for my strength training. I can't remember the last time I did strength training. I weighed myself yesterday and realized that over the holiday season I have actually only gained maybe 5lbs, but my body looks the same as it did when I weighed 25lbs heavier because I have not done strength training. I bet that with the inches packed onto my waist and thighs I am probably still an extra large at Victoria's Secret, which if you remember right, that is what prompted me to do all of the fitness stuff to begin with. I was sad and depressed and was going to buy myself something to make me feel better, but the yoga pants I wanted depressed me even more because according to the waist size chart, I needed the biggest size they offered.

What is the point of doing all this if I am going to have the same body? I am way far off from the half marathon that I wanted to do so that is not a benefit right now. I don't look good for the New Year's party so there is no motivation there. I don't look better than any of my friends and my husband doesn't think I am the best thing since sliced bread.

But, no matter. I am going to keep going at it. Hopefully, my motivation will return full force with all the talk of New Year's resolutions and the bikini season coming up. If not, I will keep doing maintenance stuff sporadically to at least keep my weight under control. One day it will come back.

And one day I will go a full day without eating chocolate. (No, it still has not happened!)

Update

Wow, it feels like it has been a long time since I wrote - or did anything productive, for that matter!

I only ran twice since we spoke last. This winter running is not working out the way I planned! I am back up to 120 +lbs. I literally ate so much on Christmas day that I made myself sick.

Seriously. We got up and made breakfast, then, started cooking the dishes we were going to take to the in-law's house for lunch. Of course, I had to snack while we were cooking! I can't take a chance on the food not being good! Once we got over there, I snacked on some of the things other people brought until it was time to actually eat. I think I ate 2 plates of food and then sat there for about 3 hours still picking at stuff.

When we got home I felt so nasty and nauseous. I think I was running a fever, my skin was so hot to the touch! I really over did it and I could feel every pig-in-a-blanket that night.

On another note, everything else went really well. (see? This pattern of being happy and having a good time and being unproductive and fat??? Not just my imagination...) My Mom and Dad brought my nieces over to open everything on Christmas Eve. They got everything they ever dreamed of, I am sure because my living room floor was covered from one end to the other.

I will wrap this up with an update on selling cars. From the day after Christmas until New Year's, dealerships have the '13th month.' We call it this because in those few days we sell as many cars as we do in a normal month. Let me tell ya, I think we are more at 12 1/2 months! Business has picked up some but I don't see that we are quite on our way to selling that many cars. I guess I will keep crossing my fingers for now!

Hope everyone had a nice holiday. Here's to New Year's! I guess I will be one of the millions of people with the resolution to exercise more and get into shape. I was hoping to stay in shape and not have to be like everyone else! Oh well, just have to keep going.

Tis the Season

I have gained 8lbs in the last few days. Humph. I have been eating worse than I did when I was not calorie conscience! I have not done any cardio or strength training whatsoever. Let me tell ya, I am going to be so hot for the New Year's pajama party! Good Lord, please! Give me my willpower back! the bad thing is that during my eating fests - yes, I eat enough for these to be fests at this point - I think about the consequences of eating whatever I am shoveling into my face at the time and still don't have the control enough to stop. I am also letting my husband influence me on not exercising or running. Not necessarily that he talks me out of it, but he has other things for us to do while he is around.

This had become so much a part of who I am (was) and I was so proud of myself! I still think that I can't be mentally happy and physically healthy at the same time. If I get depressed again I know that it will be right back to spinach salads (which I love!) and running twice a day. Hopefully, I can get back to the self control without the sacrifice of my sanity!!!

I know that this is the same rant and rave of every female about this time of year, which is one reason that I hate to even let the words spill out. I know that I am no different. But, if I don't write it here then I would have to say it out loud and annoy all of my friends and family.

This post is the perfect example of why I write here. No one reads this or knows about it so I can rant and rave all I want! As always, dear diary, thanks for listening!

Christmas Cheer

Last night was our company Christmas party. We went to a prime steak house in town and it was the first time I had ever eaten there. The waitress painted a very vivid picture of their Tomahawk Steak. I don't remember her exact words she used to describe this mammoth of a heavenly steak; I quit listening at the words 32ozs. WOW. She made me taste the steak with her description. I know, that's how they get ya. She was very good at her job!

I ordered the steak and ate a pretty good portion of it! I was proud of myself for putting a pretty good dent in it after the drinks...the appetizers...the drinks...the side dishes...the drinks.... you get the point! After that, I split a brownie a la mode too!

This ranked up there on my list of Christmas parties. It was pretty awesome. It was kind of like the family sitting down for dinner. There was plenty of good food, and drinks, er, I mean, Christmas cheer!

Anita Baker

I spent a good part of the weekend trying to make cake pops made popular by bakerella. I stole the idea from Crystal Chick, who did a great job on them. But, she does a great job at pretty much everything.

At least 5 hours over the course of 2 days, 6 trips between the grocery store, Michael's and Hobby Lobby and about $30 worth of supplies, and I determined to leave the cake pops up to Bakerella and Crystal Chick. Here is a picture of what I ended up with...




I don't know what in the world possessed me to do this! I am not a baker or a cook of any kind. These are the cutest things when you find someone who knows how to pull it off and they are delish! It doesn't seem hard. My problem was getting the melted candy on the balls. If you try this, send me some feedback on how you did it.

Other things I did this weekend...

• Went to the mall 4 times, but only went in twice (I was unable to find a parking spot the other times)
• Tried on men's underwear in the middle of Macy's
• Tested out my calf muscles on a new trail at Shelby Farms. Turns out I was not quite ready to run. Sorry for wasting your time, Kayla! That was the worst 4 miles I can remember
• Found my brother-in-law a pretty pimp pajama set for the New Year's Eve party
• Hung out with my larger than life friend, Heckmat
• Researched the band Kings of Leon and found that I really like them!

Right now I am getting ready to go to the Christmas party for my part time job. Hopefully, I will win an IPod or some kind of MP3 player because my NotPod keeps telling me there is an internal error. Damn it! I will let you know how it goes.