Suspicious Minds

This is going to be a weird story but if anyone in Bloggy World has any experience with this I would appreciate the advice! A couple of months ago, after a long history of drug abuse, my cousin lost her fight with addiction. Because of the choices she made, some people in the family, including her sister, chose not to associate with her for the years prior to her passing. Since her death this has been a struggle of emotions.

My cousin was married for 12 years to a man that participated in the counteractive behaviors with her. It is not uncommon for husband and wife to share in addiction and of course, they usually fuel each other's habits, as it was in this case. She was pregnant when they married. Although she insisted for years that the child was/is her husband's we all had our suspicions that her daughter actually belongs to the guy she dated prior to marrying. That part of the story is actually irrelevant, as we always accepted the daughter as his and the three of them as a family - although a couple of weeks before her passing she did confess that she knew her current husband was not the father of her daughter. I guess I told that part to show that she had a tumultuous past.


Her and her husband had been on the outs and she was staying half the time at home and half the time with friends. And when I say friends I mean bad influence druggies that were taking advantage of her. At least that's what all indications lead to.


She was found on a Saturday morning lifeless on the couch where she had slept the night before. She had stayed at home the night before and supposedly made good with her husband. The story is that they had made amends and she was to live at home full time again. Her husband left that morning while she was still sleeping to run errands. He came home mid-morning supposedly to check on her and then headed out again to help a friend work on a car. She was notorious for sleeping for hours at a time without waking, so when he found her still asleep on the couch he decided that she had been continuously sleeping and therefore, no need to bother her.

An hour or so later he says he had a feeling that she needed him so he went home to check on her again. He couldn't see the rise and fall of her breath so he checked a little harder and found that she was not breathing. He started doing CPR on her when that didn't work he called my mother to say that he was taking her to the hospital. In short, she didn't make it to the hospital. We are not sure if she passed away on the way to the hospital, before he got there or even earlier that morning.


Because of some suspicious breaks in his story, there is talk that family members think he may have had something to do with her passing. Family members are trying to get the police department to launch an investigation. If anyone has experienced a similar situation I would appreciate an email. How much is enough to go on? There isn't that much to piece together but then again, there is. I guess I am trying to find out if someone were in this position how crazy did you think you were to think these things? I feel like a crazy person. And I must say that I am on the fence about his possible involvement.

This is probably the strangest thing I have ever talked about. Just putting it in writing leaves a lump in my throat. It makes it sound silly. I know I didn't go into the suspicions here, but I might in a later post, depending on how the next few days progress. In the meantime, my thoughts are with those who have been in this position before or those who wish they knew the real story.

Zoo Heat

In my last post, I mentioned that I had family coming. I wanted to be in good shape for this mini reunion. Well, that was this past weekend and I was not in the shape I wanted to be in, but I am getting used to that. I don't know if I have fallen into a trend of not being realistic or if I am just not working hard enough. I am aware that I am not putting as much effort into it.

No matter my physical shape, we had a good time. This was Mr. Man's weekend off from work so he smoked a pork roast so we could have lunch with everyone before going to the zoo. While it was 1000 degrees outside, we still had a great time walking around the million mile zoo. The Memphis Zoo has been listed as the highest rated zoo in America by the 2008 Cultural Attraction Benchmark, which sounds really hoity toity, but it really is a cool zoo. And it is HUGE. Even more HUGE when it is 1000 degrees outside. After walking around the zoo for 4 hours in the hottest part of the day, we went home and took a shower, then took a nap!

This weekend also consisted of me frying chicken for a house full of hippies, forgot my car at someone else's house and ordered the parts to fix my pool after our storm the other night. But, those are all other stories. I hope everyone had a great weekend and a happy Father's Day (for all the Dads!)

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is right around the corner. My brother-in-law and I got together this past weekend and split the menu up. We are going to try turducken this year. We wanted to last year, but did not order one in time. Just in case the turducken is not up to snuff, we are also having ham. So, if you are keeping score we are having pig, duck, turkey, and chicken all in one meal. I can't wait!! Texas De Brazil has nothing on us.

I am going to get up and run the Turkey Trot 4 miler race this year so I will be up early to run instead of getting up early to cook this year. I am excited! I have a friend who is going to run it with me and there is no pressure, just running. Whenever we cross that finish line is fine with me and there will be a pumpkin pie waiting for us when we get there! Hopefully, we will run off some calories so I can eat MORE!!!

Every Thanksgiving night that we have been married, we go out and get a Christmas tree and get our decorations up. We get a real tree every year and we go and pick out a new ornament every year. That is probably one of my favorite parts of Thanksgiving.

And, oh yeah, I am going shopping the next day. I am not sure if I have to work on black Friday or not, but if i do I will be in the stores before work! A couple of the stores are supposed to have exceptionally good sales this year due to the economy and all the retailers trying to get business however they can.

It sounds like it is going to be busy, but I can't wait for Thanksgiving! I feel like a kid at Christmas!

Things I want:

• To have my hair colored or highlighted in a professional salon
• Supplies and knowledge to give myself a pedicure at home
• New work clothes
• New NotPod
• New running shoes
• New shirts and pants to run in
• New kitchen cabinets
• The chairs in the formal dining room to be recovered

• To know that I will not lose my job due to downsizing
• To know that I make my husband happy and that I am enough for him
• To know that my mom and dad are actually OK (physically and mentally)
• A better life for my nieces because they didn't ask for the life they got
• My sister to realize that he is not any better for her than the other guy was
• My dad to know that I love him more than I could ever explain to him and that he did a great job raising us
• My mom to not be so nervous and worry
  all the time
• To be happy AND healthy
• For Beth to be happy AND healthy
• For Beth and me to quit drinking

• To know who really killed Kennedy
• To know if Aliens are real
• Who killed Jean Benet Ramsey?
• Who is the real father to my cousin's daughter?

These are just a few things that I really want. I am sure I could add to all 3 lists. Of the 3 I would like nothing more than the middle list to come to realization. People have no idea what I would give up for these things. Not just the other material things that I want, but things that I have now. I would give it all up if I could trade it for that middle list. So, if anyone has the magic genie in their pocket, please send him my way when you are done.

Friends in Low Places

Do you ever wonder if you would still be friends with someone if you met them for the first time today? I have a couple of friends (and I can think of a couple of family members too!) that I would not pursue a friendship with if I just met them today. Does this mean that I should just stop being friends with these people? In the case of the family members I certainly can't stop being family with them! But, I can stop associating with them.

In my case, one of the people I would like to stop associating with and the other person I can't see ever not associating with. So, it is both ends of the spectrum for me. The funny thing is that the one that I don't mind associating with is the one that gives me the most headaches! I guess when you look at it, I would not trade some of the memories or experiences for anything. Like the saying says, "Rather have loved and lost than never have loved at all.'

But, let's face it. There are people who we meet and somehow get roped into our social circles that we don't really click with. Maybe it is a rash decision to actually write these people out of your life, but then again maybe it isn't.

Having had most of my friends for a very long time, some of them have gone different places in their lives and I suspect that most people have a few friends like this. Do you really want to be friends with the guy who got convicted for breaking and entering? Or the girl who has a drug problem and can't take care of her kids? I know that some people need help and we need to be there for them and so on, but what if that help is rejected time and time again?

Something else to think about.